


Renegade

by Thunder_Fox



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Butler erwin, Lordling levi, M/M, PWP without Porn, basically anyway, haven't given the ackermans a title, potential universe expansion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 14:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12061284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thunder_Fox/pseuds/Thunder_Fox
Summary: Yet Levi clung to his youthful free spirit, wanting nothing more than to spread his wings and soar to a freedom his status would never allow. He had his manor, his servants, and he had Erwin. In Erwin, he confided. Every dark, twisted secret to leave his lips fluttered into the blond butler's ear, buried there with his own broken dreams and false futures.





	Renegade

**Author's Note:**

> I was smashed with writer's block, so I picked a random subject to angst on. Unfortunately now I want to expand it, but don't know if I should. Y'all should let me know if you want to see more! Because I'm a sucker for happy endings and this ain't it.

"You musn't allow your eyes to wander at dinner, my Lord." Erwin chided as he helped stripped his young master from his regalia. "You know how the ladies of the king's court gossip."

"You worry too much. They don't assume I have no interest in women." Bored. That was how Levi always sounded. At eighteen, he was primed to take command of his ailing mother's manor, her fortune his, and her place in court to be filled by him.

Yet Levi clung to his youthful free spirit, wanting nothing more than to spread his wings and soar to a freedom his status would never allow. He had his manor, his servants, and he had Erwin. In Erwin, he confided. Every dark, twisted secret to leave his lips fluttered into the blond butler's ear, buried there with his own broken dreams and false futures.

They suffered in shared agony, neither satisfied with what they had been dealt in life.

"I worry because you won't. You'll have my hair turning gray before I've even reached thirty." He chuckled, carefully folding the coat that had been draped along his master's shoulders. "You have far more to lose than I do. I want only what's best for you."

Levi scowled, expression contorting into a familiar blend of furious anguish. It sent tendrils of pain through his chest each and every time. "If that were the case, you would have fled with me long ago, Erwin Smith. You-"

"Hush, Levi." He murmured as white gloved hands enveloped the pale milky skin of his lord's face. Levi melted under his touch, and Erwin felt he might drown in the wave of guilt that ebbed and flowed when he used Levi's attraction against him. His blue eyes sank into steely silver, letting his own affections bleed between them. It seemed all they did was suffer anymore. "You've known naught but this life. If I were to whisk you away, I dread you would come to resent me and regret it."

Levi's gaze faltered, raw pain on display before fading into fierce determination. "You presume too much. It's as though you hardly know me." Which, of course, was as far from the truth as one could get. 

Still, Levi tore away, stalking towards the crackling fireplace to carefully unfasten the buttons on his shirt. Erwin had upset him. Again. Defeated, the butler heaved a sigh and followed as the skin of Levi's torso came into view, beautifully sculpted muscles alive with the light of the dancing flames. The shirt fell away, landing in a heap on the floor. "Come do your job. Pick this shit up."

"Of course, my lord." Levi shuddered when Erwin's lips found their mark, pressing softly to the bend in his neck. "All I ask is that you forgive me."

Levi wouldn't turn, wouldn't look back. He cocked his head though, letting Erwin's mouth map out skin he had learned time and time again when they retreated into the silent darkness of Levi's chambers. How much longer could this go on before it became a danger to them both?

"I trust you, Erwin." There was a hollow echo in his tone. Something cold and broken, so splintered, Erwin wasn't sure he could ever put it back together. It hadn't started like this. Their first kiss, Levi had been sixteen, with eyes so bright, Erwin swore he could see the stars in their stormy seas. A year later, swept up in youthful hormones, and smuggled oils, he had watched Levi unravel beneath him for the first time. Only he had heard his name breathless on Levi's lips, and held his naked body until the small man had drifted to sleep.

Then came Kuchel's sickness, and Levi's plans of traveling the world had shattered. And Erwin learned a harsh lesson about regret.

Because Erwin had told him it wouldn't be best. Because Erwin had a duty to Levi, and to his future. If he thought he could offer more than all of this, he would give it in a heartbeat. But he was a man with no riches, and no powerful family name. He could offer no stable future.

The gloves fell from his hands, landing with a muffled thud beside Levi's shirt. Soft, smooth skin under his fingertips reminded him that Levi was real. A person, with dreams and aspirations, who would see none of them come to fruition. "I am sorry." He said for the thousandth time. Each one sounded more like a lie than the last. If he were so sorry, would he let this much pain befall his love?

"Don't. Not tonight. Just... fuck me." Levi insisted. He was unmoving where he pressed back into Erwin's wide frame, enveloped by his strong arms while his eyes stared distantly into the fire, like the answers to all of his problems may lay in the glittering embers.

Stripping him felt like a chore. Levi seemed distant, closed off emotionally. His body reacted though. When Erwin tossed him on the bed, just to crawl over him with his own naked body, Levi arched up against him in search of the delicious friction. 

When Erwin coated his fingers in the slick oils purchased in secret, Levi spread his legs and let thick fingers work him open. Slowly, at first, then begging for a second and third, until nothing would suffice but Erwin's thick cock pressed up against his quivering hole.

Levi gasped, writhed as his nails sank into Erwin's shoulders, pulling him down to melt into furious kisses. Moans poured from his throat, muffled by their starved lips, hungry to relearn each and every dip and groove of Erwin's mouth while the butler thrust into him. Slow at first, taking his time to send an impatient Levi to the edge.

Gasps, whispers, and curses filled the air, underscored by the slick sound of his length relentlessly pushing into the other man's body. Levi moaned his name, screwed his eyes shut as he drew closer. "Erwin- Erwin, please." Levi seemed to beg, and the blond wasn't sure why it sounded different this time, felt different this time, but it did.

Levi came with a cry, thighs tight around Erwin's waist, locking him in place as he spilled across his own chest. "Finish. Finish inside me." Levi breathed, fingers tangled in sweaty golden hair to pull him down into another barrage of kisses.

Erwin moaned, thrust with a punishing rhythm into Levi's spent body before he was filling him in turn. They took a long moment to catch they're breaths, Levi with his cheek pressed into the pillow, like he was refusing to meet Erwin's gaze again.

It sent a lance of pain through his chest. For only a few minutes, he pressed swollen lips against the sweaty column of Levi's neck, careful not to leave marks on his skin. Levi would let him. Anything to make this seem real after the moment passed.

"I should probably get going..." Erwin muttered, slipping his softened cock from Levi's pliant body. Levi rolled to his side, facing away. He was hurting, Erwin knew, and he regretted saying anything before. He regretted that there was nothing he could say now to fix it. He simply began to crawl from the bed, until Levi surprised him with a request. 

"Stay. Please." Levi craned his neck to look back, and the raw, unadulterated heartbreak he saw there threatened to tear his own heart to shreds. It was only because he relied so heavily on logic over emotion that he managed to shake his head no.

"They can't catch me in here." He reminded, crawling back to press a gentle kiss to his lover's lips. When was the last time he had held Levi through the afterglow? So long now that he could scarcely remember. And never through the night. He kissed him again, brows furrowed, apologetic. "Get some sleep, Levi. I'll see you in the morning."

Erwin thought he saw tears springing from those silver pools, but Levi rolled over again. He looked so small, curled in on himself, and broken. "I love you, Levi." He murmured once more, pressing a last tender kiss to the downy dark hair at his temple before crawling from the bed to dress slowly.

It wasn't until he was at the door that he heard Levi whisper his own, "I love you, too." Erwin smiled sadly, slipping from the room and letting the door shut behind him with a soft click.

_____

He woke in the morning to a manor dressed in black. Mourning-

Kuchel had passed overnight, peacefully, with her son by her side. Erwin's heart ached for the broken boy. His little lord. 

He retreated to Levi's quarters, knocking softly, only to have the door swing open on it's hinges. The room looked much the same as the night before. The clothes had been picked up from the floor, carefully folded and set aside to be washed. The maids had yet to reach this room.

There was a commotion downstairs, outside-

There was letter, folded on the table.

"His horse is gone from the stables!"

The echoes of the voices below barely registered as his heart stopped beating. The letter was screaming at him, sealed and signed to E. Smith. It was handwriting he would recognize anywhere.

Louder still came the voices. Still he didn't hear them.

_Erwin,_

More shouting-

_This time it's me that's sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you thought I could be. I'm sorry I couldn't think of a way to tell you before you left last night. But mostly I'm sorry that I know you're going to be sorry. None of this is your fault. I simply can not live within these stifling walls any longer, no matter how you try to convince me that I can. Perhaps we shall meet again someday._

_With all my love, and sincerest regrets,_

_Levi_

Erwin stared in stunned silence at the letter, at the other still sitting on the desk addressed to the general staff. Tears welled up in his blue eyes, regret and loathing tearing through his soul.

Levi had, in his own way, shown all of the signs. It was only in hindsight that the blond could piece them together. How he wished that he had stayed, curled around his Levi, and listened as the words finally found his tongue.

He could have tried to make him stay. Or, he could have helped him spread those wings and ride to freedom with him. It was what he had always wanted. Somewhere in his head, he had convinced himself that was selfish. Now he was suffering the consequences, standing in the big empty room with what may be the last memories he has of the only man he ever loved.

While Levi flew free, Erwin mourned with wings he had clipped himself. At least, he thought, Levi finally spread his and found his freedom.


End file.
